The 7 Habits
The Private Victory
Habit 1 BE PROACTIVE
Being proactive means that you take the initiative and accept the responsibility for your behavior. Your choices should be based on morals and ethics rather than on just your emotions.
Habit 2 BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
It's important to have a strategy for life is just like you would have a strategy for a ball game. You want to have a game plan so you're not caught off guard when life throws you a curve ball.
Habit 3 PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
"Learn how to separate the majors (important items) and the minors (not so important items). A lot of people don't do well simply because they major in minor things." ~Jim Rohn~
The Public Victory
Habit 4 THINK WIN-WIN
Thinking win-win is when you compromise with others so that everyone wins.
Habit 5 SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
You have two ears and one mouth. Listen first, talk later.
Habit 6 SYNERGIZE
Work together to achieve more. Strive for creative cooperation with your team.
Habit 7 SHARPEN THE SAW
Renew yourself regularly. Sharpening the saw is about constantly reflecting upon yourself and increasing your capacity to live following the 7 Habits.
Paradigms
1. Paradigm means your perception of things. They are like glasses. What you see is what you get. The wrong paradigms can limit you reaching your goals.
We have paradigms of ourselves, others and life.
2. Paradigms of Ourselves
a.) Positive paradigms of yourself can bring you up
b.) Negative paradigms of yourself can bring you down
3. Paradigms of Others
a.) These can be harmful because they aren’t usually correct
b.) It is important to see others from different paradigms so you don’t judge them in the wrong way
5. Paradigms of Life ("your life center")
a.) Friend-centered
- Friends are important but should never be your center.
- Friends can talk behind your back, they can move away.
- Dont' compromise your standards just to be with your friends.
- Make as many friends as you can but don't build life center on it.
b.) Stuff-centered
- We live in a material world.
- Our quality should be represented by our hearts not our possessions
“If who I am is what I have and what I have is lost, then who am I?”
c.) Boyfriend/Girlfriend Centered
- The more centered you are on a single person, the less attractive you are to that person.
- Independence is more attractive than dependence.
d.) School-Centered
- School-centered teens usually are obsessed with getting good grades.
- These teens focus too much on grades and forget to learn and apply what they learn.
e.) Parent-Centered
- It’s important to respect your parents, but basing your whole life on what they want you to do can turn out badly in the end. Sometimes you can never please another person. It is most important to please yourself.
f.) Other Centers
- These centers are also not good for your effectiveness as a teen:
- Work
- Sports/ Hobby
- Hero
- Enemy
- Self
- There is one center that will help you to be an effective teen; principle-centered
- Effective principles are:
- Service
- Love
- Hard work
- Respect
- Gratitude
- Integrity
- Loyalty
- Responsibility
Baby Steps
The best way to overcome your problems is not to get way ahead of yourself, but to just take "baby steps". This is the way that you should overcome your goals. For each habit there are baby steps that will help you to master the habit. Even though these steps may seem small, they can be powerful tools to help you achieve your goals. Here are some baby steps for Paradigms and Principles:
- The next time that you look in the mirror say something positive about yourself.
- Show your appreciation for someone else's point of view today.
- Think of a limiting paradigm that you might have of yourself, such as "I don't have any talent". Then, do something that totally contradicts this paradigm.
- Find a quiet place where you can be alone and think about what matters most to you.
- Listen carefully to the lyrics of some of the music that you listen to a lot. Then evaluate if they are similar to the principles that you believe in and, if necessary, consider an alteration in your choice of music.
- When you do your chores try out the principle of hard work. Try to go the extra mile and do more than what is expected.
Personal Bank Account
How you feel about yourself is like a personal bank account (PBA). If you feel good about yourself and are confident that means you have a healthy personal bank account. If you are disappointed with yourself that will reflect negatively on your personal bank account. You can make deposits to your PBA which strengthen your character or you can make withdrawals which lower your self-esteem.
| PBA Deposits |
PBA Withdrawals |
| Follow through on personal goals |
Never accomplish personal goals |
| Do random acts of kindness |
Withdrawn and selfish |
| Able to pick yourself up |
Concentrates on weaknesses |
| Be Truthful |
Dishonest |
| Know when to take a break |
Overwork yourself |
| Focus on what you're good at |
Neglect your talents |
|
Baby Steps for PBA
Get up when you plan to for three days in a row.
Identify one easy task that needs to be done today, like putting in a batch of laundry, or reading a book for an English assignment. Decide when you will do it. Now, keep your word and get it done.
Sometime today, do a kind anonymous deed, like writing a thank you note, taking out the trash, or making someone's bed.
Look around and find something you can do to make a difference, like cleaning up a park in your neighborhood, volunteering in a senior citizens center, or reading to someone who can't.
List a talent you would like to develop this year. Write down specific steps to get there.
Make a list of the talents you most admire in other people.
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